Hello there. I went on a 2.5 year hiatus from this blog, but was encouraged to start contributing again as I read through old entries (thanks for posting that nostalgic status on Facebook, Kat). This space used to integrate so many different perspectives from college students aspiring to be writers, scientists, politicians and artists. It's a beautiful thing to fast forward and see where we all stand as we approach our mid twenties. Although the founders of this blog are rarely all in one room, let's keep this blog going because we were all an integral part of each others' lives during our most formative years -- we inspired each other, which made life so enjoyable back then (hey, guys, remember FtL! events?) and would certainly (at least in my opinion) serve as a much needed distraction from our current demanding lives.

And a fitting song for this entry, Youth Lagoon's "17":

 " Oh when I was seventeen, my mother said to me 'don't stop imagining, the day that you do is the day that you die' "

I'm drunk and I didn't proof this and shut up.

“Give up.”

That was the only thing I could think at the time. She grabbed me by the throat and threw me against the wall. I pleaded. There was a bell and the session was over. I owed $300 for god knows what.

“Next time you should stab me with your eyes!” I yelled to her when I was 30 feet away. She motioned as if she was about to start running at me and I dodged into an alleyway. There I met a man who knew what I was all about. I told him to shut up, but he managed to grab my tongue as I was speaking and he told me that he would not shut up. I told him that was reasonable. At least I attempted to.

I woke up face down in my bed. My pillow was like a sponge soaked in spit. Did it again. Over did it again is more like it. Hah hah hah. But just then my window flew open and I noticed a sound. It was the oldest woman in the world. Or it was. She just died. Making me the oldest woman in the world.

And then I could taste it. There was chocolate on my tongue, rose petals in my nose and half a dildo shoved in my ass. It was the best of times it was the worst of times. I was the oldest woman on earth and no one could take that from me but the angel of death. Or the social security office. They were always robbing me.

Usually I stay in my room. The nurses say that I’m not really the oldest woman in the world. They tell me that I’m actually only 64 and suffering from dementia. I ask them why my tears taste like my dead husband. They tell me my husband is still alive. I tell them I never married. They tell me I’m a man. I tell them that they have the wrong genitalia for moon-talkers. They shut up at that point.

Is that my cell phone? I remember setting the ringer to a Ricky Martin song, but I forget which one.

Free Summer Stuff

* Films in Tompkins. July 7: Coming to America; July 14: The Warriors; July 21: Star Trek; July 28: Arthur; August 4: The Pope of Greenwhich Village; August 11: Kick-Ass; August 18: Rosemary's Baby; August 25: The Godfather; September 1: Stake Land. THURSDAYS, gates open at 6p, screening starts at sundown, Tompkins Square Park, Avenue A and 7th Street, Manhattan. $free. filmsintompkins.com

* Summer Screen at McCarren. July 6: Friday; July 13: Wayne's World; July 20: Ghost World; July 27: Ferris Bueller's Day Off; August 3: Chelsea; August 10: Jurassic Park. WEDNESDAYS. McCarren Park Ballfields, Bedford Avenue and North 12th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. $free. summerscreen.org

* Williamsburg Waterfront Concert Series. July 29: They Might Be Giants, Eugene Mirman and Pretty Good Friends with Kristen Schaal, Surprise Guests. Brooklyn. Doors at 5:30p, East River State Park, North 9th Street and Kent Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. $free. osanb.org

* The Brooklyn Bridge Park Conservancy. July 7: Manhattan; July 10-11: Henry V; July 13: The Metropolitan Opera Summer Recital Series; July 14: Ghostbusters; July 20: Brooklyn Bridge Tour -- A Link Between Two Cities with the Brooklyn Historical Society; July 21: Sweet Smell of Success; July 28: Basquiat; July 30-21: Romeo and Juliet; August 2: Randy Weston; August 3: History Tour -- Brooklyn's Industrial Waterfront with the Brooklyn Historical Society; August 4: An American Tail; August 11: Breakfast at Tiffany's; August 18: Crooklyn; August 19: PuppetMobile presents Bessie's Big Shot; August 24 and 27: 235th Anniversary of the Battle of Brooklyn; August 25: Rosemary's Baby. Various times, Brooklyn. $free. brooklynbridgepark.org

* Socrates Sculpture Park, Outdoor Cinema 2011. July 6: Clermont-Ferrand Short Films (International); July 13: Who Wants to Kill Jesse (Czech Republic); July 20: Caramel (Lebanon); July 27: The Good, The Bad, The Weird (Korea); August 3: The Straight Story (USA); August 10: At the Edge of Russia (Russia); August 17: Biutiful (Spain); August 24: Silent Film Fest. WEDNESDAYS. Pre-screening performance begins at 7p, movies begin at dusk, Vernon Boulevard and Broadway, Queens. $free. socratessculpturepark.org

* Hudson River Park. July 6: The Social Network; July 8: The Karate Kid; July 10: David Berger Jazz Orchestra; July 12: Stars of Tomorrow Jazz; July 13: Easy A; July 14: Tune Yards, Austra; July 15: Despicable Me; July 17: Los Hermanos Colon; July 19: Stars of Tomorrow Classical; July 20: The Kids Are All Right; July 22: The Princess Bride; July 24: Octavio Brunetti's Apeadero Sur Tango Orchestra; July 26: Stars of Tomorrow Jazz; July 27: The Other Guys; July 28: Metronomy, Class Actress; July 29: Toy Story 3; July 31: Nu D'Lux; August 2: Stars of Tomorrow Classical; August 3: The Fighter; August 4: Rumble on the River; August 5: How to Train Your Dragon; August 7: George Gee Swing Orchestra; August 9: Stars of Tomorrow Jazz; August 10: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World; August 11: Deer Tick, DOM; August 12: Shrek Forever After; August 16: Stars of Tomorrow Classical; August 17: The Town; August 19: Tangled; August 21: Blues Barbecue. Various times, Manhattan. $free. hudsonriverpar
k.org

* Celebrate Brooklyn, Prospect Park Bandshell. July 1: Steel Pulse, Natural Expression Rhythm Band; July 7: Court Yard Hounds, The Abrams Brothers; July 8: Los Lobos, Hello Seahorse, Zigmat; July 9: Lyricist Lounge featuring Raekwon, Smif-N-Wesson, Joell Ortiz; July 14: Frankie Gavin and De Dannan, Liam O Maonlai, McPeake; July 15: Shirley Caesar, Vy Higginsen's Gospel for Teens Choir; July 16: Dan Zanes with the Brooklyn Youth Orchestra and Bed Stuy Veterans; July 21: West Side Story dance and sing-along; July 22: Seun Kuti and Egypt 80, Faaji Agba; July 23: The Feelies, Real Estate, Times New Viking; July 28: Mark Morris Dance Group with the Brooklyn Philharmonic and the Brooklyn Interdenominational Choir; July 29: Oumou Sangare, Bassam Saba; July 30: Dr. John and the Lower 911, Chuck Brown, Red Baraat; August 4: Metropolis with the Alloy Orchestra and Marika Hughes; August 5: Ra Ra Riot, Delicate Steve, Buke and Gass; August 6: Ailey II- Revelations. Various times, Prospec
t Park West and 9th Street, Brooklyn. $free. bricartsmedia.org

* Seaport Music. July 1: Lower Dens, Dirty Beaches; July 8: The Wake, Weekend; July 9: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists; July 15: The Radio Dept., Asobi Seksu; July 16: 4Knots Music Festival. Various times, South Street Seaport, Pier 17, Manhattan. $free. seaportmusicfestival.com

* Intrepid Free Summer Movie Series. July 8: The Goonies; July 22: Back to the Future; August 5: E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial; August 19: Jurassic Park. Doors at 5:30pm, screening starts at sunset, West 46th Street and 12th Avenue, Manhattan. intrepidmuseum.org

* Central Park Summer Stage Concert series. July 2: Roy Ayers and the Jazz Mafia Symphony; July 3: RAM, Group Doueh, Baloji, Globesonic Sound System; July 6: Jarbe de Palo, Ely Guerra, Novalima, Mr. Pauer; July 9: ChocQuib Town, Rita Indiana, Ursula 1000, Que Bajo?!; July 11: The Metropolitan Summer Recital Series; July 15-16: Armitage Gone! Dance, Vijay Iyer with Dance Grand Moultrie; July 17: Pink Martini; July 18: Levon Helm Band, Emmylou Harris, Hayes Carll; July 23: Keigwin and Company / Creative Outlet Dance Theatre of Brooklyn; July 24: Marcelo D2, Pitty, DJ Nuts; July 27: Wanda Jackson, Imelda May; July 30: Forces of Dance Theatre; July 31: Yemen Blues, Watcha Clan, Shabate, Awesome Tapes from Africa; August 6: Shelebration!; August 7: Friendly Fires, the Naked and Famous, Cults; August 10: Joe Bataan, Johnny Colon, DJ Turmix, We Like it Like That -- The Story of Latin Boogalo screening; August 13: Henry Santos; August 14: Gospel Explosion; August 17: Sangre; August 2
0: Tiken Jah Fakoly, Meta and the Cornerstones, Los Rakas; August 21: Rakim, EPMD, FunkMaster Flex; August 28: Jagged Edge, Avant, Melanie Fiona. Various times, Rumsey Playfield, 69th Street and Fifth Avenue, Manhattan. $free. summerstage.org

* Red Hook Summer Movies. July 12: Men in Black; July 19: Bring It On; July 26: Lords of Dogtown; August 2: Wall-E; August 9: The Karate Kid; August 16: The Fast and the Furious; August 23: The Iron Giant; August 30: Pump Up the Volume; September 6: Highlander; September 13: Pee Wee's Big Adventure. TUESDAYS, seating at 8pm, screenings at 8:30p, Valentino Pier, Red Hook, Brooklyn. $free. redhookfilms.org

* Beekman Beer Garden. July 10: Cheeseburger; July 17: X-Ray Eyeballs, Frankie Rose and the Outs, The Babies; July 24: The Swirlies, Psychedelic Horseshit; July 31: The Raveonettes, Eternal Summers; August 7: Mission of Burma. SUNDAYS, 3p, Northside Pier 17, South Street Seaport, Manhattan. $free. seaportmusicfestival.com

* HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Festival. July 4: Easy Rider; July 11: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes; July 18: In the Heat of the Night; July 25: The Lady Eye; August 1: Cool Hand Luke; August 8: Airplane; August 15: High Sierra; August 22: Dirty Harry. MONDAYS, lawn opens at 5pm, screening starts at sunset, 6th Avenue and 42nd Street, Manhattan. $free. bryantpark.org

* Coney Island Flicks on the Beach. July 11: Saturday Night Fever; July 18: Rango; July 25: Top Gun; August 1: Iron Man 2; August 8: Annie Hall; August 15: Moonstruck; August 22: Justin Beiber: Never Say Never; August 29: How She Move. MONDAYS, screening starts at dusk, West 10th Street, Coney Island, Brooklyn. $free. thecidc.org

* Washington Square Music Festival. July 12: Opera in the Park; July 19: The Joy of Unfamiliar Music; July 26: Music Making by the Master; August 2: The Charles Mingues Orchestra. TUESDAYS, 8pm, Main Stage, Washington Square Park, Manhattan. $free. washingtonsquaremusicfestival.org

* River to River Festival at Castle Clinton. July 7: My Brightest Diamond, yMusic; July 14: Patti Smith. THURSDAYS, 7pm, Castle Clinton, Battery Park, Manhattan. $free. rivertorivernyc.com

Compiled by Nonsense NYC

nonsense nyc is a discriminating resource for independent art, weird events, strange happenings, unique parties, and senseless culture in new york city.

NOTE: Free Summer Stuff is our annual guide to some of the ongoing free events that help make living here in July and August somewhat less intolerable. Yes, these events are big. Yes, they are mainstream. Yes, they are sponsored by huge international conglomerates and don't need our publicity. Shut up. Go sit on a pier and watch a movie. It's great. And as always, please feel free to tell us about series that we may have missed. Special thanks to Allison Meier for compiling this list. If you appreciate it as much as we do please send her a little note and tell her about one of the events you attended -- especially if it's a date: allisoncmeier]at]gmail.com.

Winter Drive

“What do you want to hear?” “Jerimiah was a bullfrog!” “Haha, you know I get more requests for it by that name than its actual name, ‘Joy to the World’.” “Oh that’s right!” “Well, it’s coming up now, enjoy.” Familiar chords begin to play. “Jerimiah was a bullfrog was a good friend of mine…” The light ahead of me turns yellow and I step on the brakes. The frosted street denies me traction. The light ahead turns red. The ABS keeps skipping and my body is fully erect with my full weight pressing down on the pedal. Seeing no cars crossing, I take my foot off the brake and run the red. A deputy sheriff sits in his car facing the opposite direction and watches my unlawful slide. I continue down the road, a bit shaken. I check my rearview for flashing lights and find none. Fuck, it was stupid to go out in this weather just for cigarettes. “Joy to the world, all the boys and girls…”

Sudden loss of control tends to put things in perspective. I was angry before, but I don’t even know why. I continue downhill with a heightened sense of caution. An SUV follows closely behind me, I don’t bother to check my speed. This is why Ayn Rand is wrong, captains of industry have heart attacks, my car can’t grip ice. No one is master of their own fate. Oncoming lights feel brighter than usual and fat flakes of half-melted snow slap my windshield. I park in a gas station and sit in the car for a moment. A commercial for a wind chime emporium comes through the speakers with the sound of forced excitement. A down-clad couple waddles through my headlights, holding each other for stability. Sometimes I really hate couples. I try to imagine what they’re doing, why they’re there, but stop myself. My thoughts tend to be unrealistic about these things.

I open my door and wind and snow flood into the warm compartment. I walk through frozen mush to the doors and push my way through. “Fuck the Steelers, man.” A 45 year old man, underdressed and drunk attempts to start an argument with the cashier. “I’m just saying that they look good this year.” I try to appear impatient, but the effect is lost on the two. I stare at the familiar rack of vice, picking out Camel Blues. They’re no longer called lights, probably for preemptive legal reasons. The underdressed man notices me and steps aside. “What’ll you have?” “Camel Blues and a pack of matches.” I walk back to my car defeated by addiction but triumphant in my purchase. I light up and crack the window. More cold air, the radio is louder than I recall. I exhale burnt particles of paper and tobacco to fight the wind.

Recycle your electronics in the new year..

After-the-Holidays eWaste Recycling

Throughout January, we're hosting ten eWaste Recycling Events around New York City with our partner, The Lower East Side Ecology Center.

These events are being held nearly every weekend, all across four boroughs of New York City.

Now is the perfect time to dispose of any electronics you may have replaced over the holidays.

So bring your old computers, printers, monitors, and any other unwanted electronics to a drop-off location near you for safe and proper electronics recycling.

As an added bonus, all recyclers can enter our raffle to win an Apple MacBook Air and can find out how to get one of our organic cotton "I Recycle NY" t-shirts. Recyclers will also receive a coupon for a special discount on an Apple Mac, iPod, or iPad, and an eco-friendly LCD from Samsung.

For details, a complete list of acceptable items, and answers to all your questions about eWaste Recycling Events, visit the Lower East Side Ecology Center's FAQ.

Invite your friends to this event on Facebook

January	10 a.m. – 4 p.m.
Sun 2	Union Square Park, North Plaza (Broadway & E 17th St)	Manhattan
Sat 8	East 163rd St. (btwn Southern & Bruckner Blvds)	Bronx
Sat 8	Bowling Green Park (East side of Broadway at Beaver St)	Manhattan
Sun 9	Queens Botanical Garden, Parking lot (entry on Crommelin St)	Queens
Sat 15	Tekserve, 119 W 23rd St (btwn 6th & 7th Aves)	Manhattan
Sun 16	Prospect Park West & 3rd St	Brooklyn
Sat 22	Ring Garden (Riverside Drive btwn Seaman Ave. & Broadway)	Manhattan
Sat 22	Habana Outpost Fulton St (btwn South Portland Ave & South Oxford St)	Brooklyn
Sun 23	Lenox Hill Neighborhood House, 331E 70th St (btwn 1st & 2nd Aves)	Manhattan
Sun 23	W 62nd St (btwn Columbus Ave & Broadway)	Manhattan

Why Recycle Your Electronics?

The components in many electronics can be incredibly hazardous to the environment--contributing up to 70% of the toxins found in landfills--so it's important that they are properly recycled. Sponsored collection events, like these, are one of the easiest ways to properly dispose of your old gadgets in NYC. Due to funding constraints, the city's electronics recycling events and the Build It Green electronics drop-off program have been suspended.

Win a New Apple MacBook Air for Recycling

To celebrate the event, anyone bringing electronics to be recycled can register for our raffle to win a new MacBook Air ($999 value). All participants in the event will also receive: (1) a coupon for a $25 discount on a Mac, iPad, or iPod (except iPod shuffle) purchased by March 31st, 2011. (2) an exclusive discount on an eco-friendly 23-inch LCD from Samsung, and (3) a coupon for the iconic "I Recycle NY" t-shirt, free with purchase at Tekserve.

http://www.tekserve.com/service/recycling.php

I look to the left and there is a woman sitting there. Her eyes are a mix of brown and green. Mixed like unstirred paint. The colors are distinct in places and blended in others. A bubble of air rises and sits on the surface, daring to be popped. So I poke her in the eye. Suddenly the entire mood of the room shifts. The lighting grows red and dim and the music is no longer playing. Hushed words are passed between nearby party goers. She laughs and the tension is broken. The room, as if filled with helium, grows light and irreverent. The three stooges are mentioned and I am slapped on the back of the head. Nyuck-nyucks could be heard through the room. Old stand up by George Carlin is on the flat screen plasma. Fifty-two inches displaying footage meant for a screen not wider than a foot. It’s the 70’s. You can tell by the pants, his hair color and pattern as well as the dental hygiene displayed in the audience’s guffawing maws.

Carlin’s gesturing wildly. He’ll swoop to the left, then to the right. It looks like the mating dance of some ridiculous lizard. He stops to say a few words, pauses for applause, and continues to swoop, this time adding a full body rotation with effeminate jazz hands. I ask the suspected owner of the television if it would be possible to raise the volume a bit. He stares passively from the couch. A glass of vodka sits in his hand and the remote sits in his other. His jaw slackens almost imperceptibly. I paw at the television, sliding my fingers against its impossibly smooth surfaces, trying to sense the moment when plastic frame becomes plastic volume increase button. The moment never comes because the television loosens from its wall mount and crashes through layer after layer of glass and device until thousands of dollars of home furnishing and audio visual equipment lie at my feet. Someone shouts a wise guy, eh? and attempts to poke me in the eyes with his fore and middle fingers. I attempt to get my hand up in front of my nose, but I jab my nails into his palm.

He winces and his hand starts bleeding. He shushes me before I can say anything and walks over to the fridge. Are my nails that sharp? He takes out a half-eaten jar of Ragu Robusto and squeezes his cut to extract more blood. The droplets slip from his fingertips and plop silently among real Italian herbs, big chunks of onion and pepper and that flavor that the whole family can enjoy! Laughter resounds. Someone carrying a step ladder turns around and smashes a young woman in the face. Her wine glass crashes to the counter and spills over the edge. The kitchen is silent. Soundlessness moves across the house into other rooms. The girl gets up, her entire face is red except for a purple line across her forehead. She picks up her broken glass, that is almost only stem now and she jabs at the young man’s throat. The house is still silent. The man’s neck is cut deeply and the woman spits out a tooth. They have yet to blink. The owner of the house has gotten up from the couch and is standing in the doorway. Everyone farts simultaneously.

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