08 January 2009

Sex and the Cyber City: My Journey into the Unknown

One restless, uneventful night I decided to google random things. First I googled Lilo, then I searched for matinee prices in NYC (don't exist - watch Cinephile to learn more). Then my name and, of course, new vibrators. I don't know if it was me looking at vibrators or me overhearing an e-harmony commercial, but I decided to google dating websites. I was curious: What exactly happens on dating websites? What do these people look like? Why are they on these sites to begin with? Are they sexually incompetent? Are they all over 46 and half years old?

So I filled out a few questionnaires on various websites. There were so many questions. ("What is your best feature?" What are ugly people supposed to put down?) Thank goodness for my love of questionnaires. I put up a few decent pictures of myself and gave it a go.

Unfortunately, there is a price to pay for such services so I had to pick one. Apparently you can look for free, but you got to pay to make contact. Some sites make you pay before you can even see you match's pictures. That is what I call super lame. I picked the cheapest dating site, which we'll call "matches.com" to keep it anonymous, even though my friends met their boyfriends/husbands on the more expensive one, which we'll call "e-expenso."

I got a few matches, but all the guys I've been "winking" at are non-paying members. So I guess we can't do anything but "wink" at each other for free.

So where exactly am I going with this? Well, I just wanna see if it works and report my findings, almost like a social experiment. Well, it is a social experiment.

Let's continue like this: This is day one of thirty. So far I've been viewed about 57 times. I've been winked at 12 times and sent messages by 7 members. The majority were guys over my age limit, which is 27 years old. And if they weren't over the age limit they were just guys I would never be seen with, unless we were stuck on the same crowded train. Even then I wouldn't look at the guy. Sorry. I have high standards in the cyber world. Real world, not so much.

I did receive a nice e-mail from an attractive guy though, and a wink from another within my standards who owns his own company. Both are out of state though.

Findings so far: The majority of guys are old and ugly, most likely because they need this site more than the younger, cuter guys. Possibly because they are not poor college students and can afford to pay for "matches.com." Also, it seems the decent [hot] guys are all out of state.

My thoughts: Dating websites are so bogus, or maybe this one is, and I should've shelled out for "e-expenso." It is highly addictive, and I don't recommend it to anyone coming out of Facebook rehab. Let's just see what happens tomorrow.

While I'm at it, might as well sign up for millionairematchmaker.com and become an online dating whore. Is that even possible?

- Aileen Awesome