26 May 2009

Yet another way to waste time

Although most of us just got out of school and thus don't have anything to procrastinate from, Texts From Last Night is for those of you taking summer courses. Also for those of you who graduated and no longer know what to do with your lives. Enjoy whittling away them hours.


(817): I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

(248): apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference

(734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle. 
(1-734): what was she crying about? 
(734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

(972): I'm scared
(337): There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
(972): That's what I'm afraid of

(540): I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

P.S. There's a conspicous lack of 646 and 917 area codes on this site. I think we should correct that.

1 comment:

  1. (310): Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.

    (805): She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up

    (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

    (703): Did you fuck her?
    (212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.